Sometimes, I begin to wonder...

What kind of person am I?
What motivates me?
What destroys me?
What strenthens/weakens me?
What am I immune to?
What am I vulnerable to?

Am I so complicated?
Intricate?
Or simple?
Am I interesting?
Capitivating?
Addicting?
Or boring?
Mysterious?
Alluring?
Attractive?
Or am I just obviously too obvious?

Do I intrigue others?
Do I mislead others?
Do I confuse others?
Do I amaze others?
Do I amuse others?

Am I a fool?
How do I find out?

Well, it seems like my previous entry was not self-explanatory for others... and that's okay. See, it's not supposed to be, really. In fact, I believe that the point in writing is to "express" what I feel (oh how much I hate that word now... "express") But anyway, it's kinda like saying something out loud and you'll remember it better. Hence, the reason of writing for me is to communicate with myself! Of course, it may sound ridiculous, and nevertheless it is true.  

Anyway, moving on. Lately, I've been in this kind of progression. Thinking and re-thinking about... uh, I don't know exactly. It is driving me insane at high peaks, however! Nevertheless, that's a beautiful thing. Sometimes, I like being crazy. After all, isn't that what life is like? A little crazy for every one of us?

So, after last night, I've decided that I want to change a few things about how I view my own life. My relationships including my love life. Finally, I've been digging deep to find the meaning of "self-appreciation". Is it phenomenal? Does it exist? If so, where? And how do I let its seed grow? In addition, I would like to revive my old self. You know, the pieces of me that I used to love and want to love again. I know I might sound a bit crazy, or I don't make any sense at all. Yes, I am getting off track a little but... it's the best I can word it. So here it goes.

I must build strong goals that I shall pursue. In order to understand how my goals will be accomplished for my best interests, I must be aware of what works best forme  and learn how to use it to my advantage. This begins with an analysis of my character and my weaknesses, as well as my talents.

With that said, I've adopted the following perspectives:

1. Never shall I let any person hurt me for too long, especially men.
2. Always shall I bounce back to my own feet, push myself up with my own arms, and lift my spirits with my self-worthiness.
3. Never shall I forgive any person if he/she does not deserve it.
4. Likewise, never shall I want to be forgiven if I do not deserve it.
5. Always shall I continue to walk, climb, jump, run.
6. Never shall I remain immobile, silent, and crumbled.
7. Always shall I continue to learn.
8. Never shall I refuse to cry or be bruised.
9. But always shall I be healed... alone or not alone.